FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
