summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
