The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
