i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize