Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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