While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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