pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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