I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
How's work?
Spinning.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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