got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
