I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
