Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
