im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
