She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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