marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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