im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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