I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
