tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize