it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
