woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
