and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
