I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he was CRYING into my vagina
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
