Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
