she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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