Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize