You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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