Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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