It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
