i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
