Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
