That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
