She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
