Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
