Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
