Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
