tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
