loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
