Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
