Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
ttyl tear gas
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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