What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My bed smells like the plague
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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