we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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