YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize