I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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