Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
