Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
