It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
