PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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