I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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