my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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