Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
