But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
