i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
