So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
