Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
