I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
