the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Still dying that you shit outside
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We need to get me chipped asap
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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