The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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