Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Sorry my hands just texted you
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
