just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
