I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
