Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
