theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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