i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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